Understanding Memory
& Thinking Skills
When someone you care about seems more forgetful, confused or less able to manage everyday things, it can be worrying.
The first thing to know is that thinking skills are much more than memory.
We use different thinking skills to remember information, concentrate, start and organise tasks, solve problems, communicate, make decisions and stay safe.
A change in one area can affect everyday activities differently. Someone might still chat confidently and remember events from years ago, but struggle to organise medication or follow the steps of preparing a meal.
What matters most?
Rather than focusing only on whether someone is “forgetful”, look at:
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What has changed from how they used to manage?
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Is it affecting everyday activities?
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Is it happening repeatedly or getting worse?
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What makes things easier or harder?
Changes in thinking do not automatically mean dementia. Sleep, illness, medication, pain, mood, fatigue, hearing and vision can all affect how well someone thinks and manages everyday life.
Don't Forget Vision and Hearing
Before assuming that a difficulty is caused by cognition, consider what the person is actually able to see and hear.
Vision and hearing are closely linked with everyday thinking. Click here to explore more about Vision and Hearing.
Thinking Skills
Use the tabs below to explore the different thinking skills, what changes might look like in everyday life and practical ways families can help.
Memory
What does memory do?
Memory helps us take in information, store it and recall it later.
Different types of memory do different jobs. Someone may remember events from decades ago but struggle to remember a conversation from this morning.
"Working memory" helps us briefly hold information in mind while we use it — for example, remembering the next step while cooking or holding a number in mind while entering it into a phone.
What changes might look like in everyday life:
Someone may:
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ask the same question several times, such as repeatedly asking what time a visitor is arriving
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forget conversations, phone calls or appointments from earlier that day
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pay a bill and later forget that it has already been paid
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become unsure whether medication has already been taken
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misplace keys, glasses or a phone more often, or put them somewhere unusual
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go into another room and forget what they went there to get
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lose track of what they were doing partway through cooking or another activity
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struggle to remember several pieces of information or instructions at once
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rely much more heavily on notes, lists or reminders than previously
What can families do?
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Keep important information visible like using a whiteboard in the kitchen.
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Use one consistent calendar or reminder system.
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Keep frequently used items in predictable places and make sure it's a habit to return them to the same place.
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Give information in small amounts.
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Write down important information after appointments or conversations.
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Respond calmly to repeated questions.
Remember!
Poor sleep, pain, fatigue, anxiety, low mood, medication, illness and hearing difficulties can all affect memory.
If someone has not heard information clearly, they cannot be expected to remember it accurately.
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When to seek more support?
Seek advice if memory changes are new, increasing or beginning to affect important activities such as medication, finances, appointments or safety.
Sudden confusion or a rapid change over hours or days requires prompt medical assessment.
Why There Can Be Good Days and Bad Days
Thinking skills can vary depending on:
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tiredness
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sleep
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pain
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illness
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mood
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medication
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noise
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unfamiliar environments
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changes in routine
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time pressure
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hearing
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vision
Someone may therefore manage an activity well one day and struggle on another.
Instead of asking only:
“Can they do this?”
also ask:
“When do they manage it best, and what makes it harder?”
This can help identify practical changes that support independence.
Before Taking Over
If an activity has become difficult, the answer is not always to stop the person doing it.
Where it is safe, first ask:
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Can we make it simpler?
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Can we reduce distractions?
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Would better lighting or hearing support help?
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Could a prompt help?
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Could we keep the routine more consistent?
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Could we help with only the difficult part?
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Could someone stay nearby rather than taking over?
The aim is to find the right balance between independence, support, safety and dignity.
When to Seek Help
Everyone forgets things or becomes distracted sometimes.
What matters more is a change from the person's usual abilities, particularly when it begins affecting everyday life.
Consider seeking professional advice if changes are:
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happening repeatedly
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becoming more noticeable
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affecting important everyday activities
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creating safety concerns
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significantly different from how the person previously managed
Sudden confusion or a rapid change over hours or days needs prompt medical assessment.
Do not assume a sudden change is simply ageing or dementia.
The key message
Understanding cognition is not about putting a label on every difficulty.
It is about noticing:
- What has changed?
- How is it affecting everyday life?
- What might be contributing?
- What could make things easier?
- Sometimes the answer is a change to the activity or environment.
- Sometimes it is better hearing or vision support.
- Sometimes it is a reminder, routine or prompt.
- And sometimes further assessment is needed.